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Saturday, September 29, 2007 @10:38 PM
Trust is a very important factor for all relationships.
When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship.Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes anmity may result in separation.
NO POINTING FINGERSA man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?
The father-in-law answered in a smile,
'Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong.'We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the hushand and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship.
Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.NO OVERPOWERINGMany relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that
'It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character.' It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.
RIGHT SPEECHThere is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that 'A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation.' Many relationships break off because of wrong speech.
When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.PERSONAL PERCEPTIONYou can never have anyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future. Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear.
BE PATIENTThis is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his house to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally has to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery and saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home and committed suicide.
Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones and hurt feelings often cant. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
